Marathon #56: Mississippi Gulf Coast Marathon, Biloxi, MS, Dec 2020

 

So many things to say. I encountered the entire rainbow of emotions, which doesn't always happen (Thank God), but it's been one hell of a year, so truth be told it was expected.

Like most marathons scheduled this year I didn't expect this one to happen. Since races were being canceled in the eleventh hour I couldn't fully embrace running it until I was actually at the starting line. Also, I struggled with the idea of wanting to run a marathon during a pandemic, especially when the Covid cases exploded after Halloween and Thanksgiving. I was still struggling with back issues, so the idea of a cancelation would have been met with "it was meant to be". Well apparently running the race was meant to be, as both the BCS marathon and Dallas marathon (on the same weekend as this one) were canceled, but this one wasn't. I wasn't feeling as lucky as I should have, that's for sure!

Toby and I flew out the day before the race, with just enough time to hit the expo (outside at a local restaurant), hit a local brewery, then later dinner to-go from a great Italian restaurant near the hotel. We didn't even see Jedonna and Jamie (running the half) until race morning! We dropped them off at their race start on the way to my race start, with both races starting at 7:00 AM. Both races would run almost entirely along coastal Beach Blvd into Biloxi and finish just outside the MGM Ballpark. Toby said he'd see me around mile 8 or so. I told him to bring my water bottle in case they had aid station issues. I had my doubts that they'd be able to find enough volunteers to help out during a pandemic. Since it was going to be a warm and humid run this would be a big issue for me. He couldn't park at the start, so out of the car I went! I spent most of my time in the super long porta potty line, which was fine, as we all had to wear masks and pretty much keep to ourselves. Hearing the National Anthem brought the reality home to me at last. It was happening!

We all crossed the start in small groups spread out, wearing masks, then I took the mask off and wrapped it around my arm for the finish. Finally, relief, great relief came over me. The sunrise was spectacular, and yes it was warm and yes there was a head wind, but the wind actually helped keep me cool. The water stops were amazing. They were spread out every 1.5 to 2 miles and were always fully functional with enthusiastic volunteers. I liked that you could see the next aid station on the horizon. Those early miles were enjoyable. The scenery never got old. It was just beautiful the entire way. I saw Toby and told him all was good. I wasn't sure when I would see him again, but knew that at some point he'd be running with me. 

Before too long, maybe mile 16 or so, all of them drove by, screaming and cheering out the windows! They asked if I needed anything, but no, I was good. I put on my happy face, which I told myself to do, even though inside I knew I was having a really tough time physically already. I always try to explain the sensation of simultaneously being in extreme discomfort and total joy in these moments. There's nowhere else you'd rather be, but you want it to end as soon as possible. 

Happy face!

Toby was waiting for me at mile 20. Right away I found myself apologizing for the state I was in. At this point my pace had dropped way off, and I had to take walk breaks as well. He tried running in front of me to help block the wind, but I found it annoying. I found myself trying to talk, which wore me out, so I turned my music back on and found a little bit of joy. After all, I was RUNNING WITH TOBY! Ok so it takes him getting hit by a car to run my pace, but still. When I'd do the math and tell him to text the girls waiting at the finish my finishing time he'd tell me to stop it. I was calculating the decline precisely. I was definitely coming in at a personal worst time ever, and I wasn't liking it at all. The final devastating blow was what can only be described as cruel, and that was the course veered onto a highway on ramp, where we ran along highway 110 (I am not kidding). There was a U Turn up ahead, but it was the U Turn for the half! Our U Turn was even further up the freeway! After the U turn we "exited the freeway", and rounded the corner (3 times) to a glorious finish line just outside the ballpark.

priceless pics

Shortly afterwards we all walked to the end of the block and sat on a patio and drank and ate while watching the last finishers get escorted in. A man in an octopus costume greeted the last runner and ran her across the finish line. It was amazing to see.  What a GREAT day for all of us! 

Meeting Anil and Ajay was a highlight for sure

So I ran my slowest marathon ever in 4:44. My ego has been struggling with it, but then again I'm just so happy I had the chance to run this race! It is one of my favorite races. It's very well ran, even during a pandemic, so I can only imagine how much better this race is in "normal" times. Finishing in the Ball Park and partying (with beer) in the ballpark must be a blast. I'm not sure why they insist on running the last 2 miles on the highway though. Maybe they'll change that in the future. Biloxi is a fun town as well. Run this race if you get a chance!

Marathon #55: Kansas Rails to Trails Extravaganza, Ottawa Kansas, Oct 2020

 

"Extravaganza"

I can't believe I ran a marathon in 2020. Finding marathons to run has been quite the challenge this year, but a Facebook page was created to help with this endeavor. Yes, it is called, "Finding Marathons That Won't Be Cancelled", and has over three thousand members so far! This is where I found out about this race. I confirmed that this was the same race my friend Jerod Honrath had once ran and posted about. He had nothing but positive things to say about it, so I added it to my short list of possibilities. It had a good probability of happening since it was a trail race and quite remote. As the short list got even shorter this ended up being the marathon we went with.

I have run trail runs before, but never a trail marathon. Yes, I have run marathons that are on trails, but it's not the same thing! Let me explain. Trail runs are different in so many ways! First of all, they have an assortment of whacky distances. This one in particular has a 100 miler, 100K, 50 miler, 50K, and a marathon and half marathon. Secondly, when you arrive, people are already running and may possibly have been running for hours, and when you leave, same story. Your kiddie run is only a small part of the running adventure taking place. There are no mile markers, no timing clocks, no "water stops" where you run by and grab a cup without stopping, and very few places to see potential spectators. You are required to carry a bottle, which you either fill as you come across crates of water along the trail, or at one of their few "manned stations", that also provide tables of snacks like chips and candy.

Unlike most trail runs this one is on a very non technical, flat, easy course lined up as one long out and back on what used to be a railroad, so getting lost or tripped up was not a worry. The mentality of trail running vs road running is the biggest difference of all. I'm generalizing I'm sure, but most of them are out there for the experience and not so much concerned about how long it takes them. Road runners, in general, are pretty much obsessed with each mile marker split and their overall time. (And possibly placing in their age groups). We are "in a hurry", so to speak. Oh, and on the trail as people pass each other they customarily say, "Good job" to one another. I guess that's better than hearing, "You're almost there"...

Dallas peeps!

I'm not sure during non Covid times if the start would be any more lively than this, since there were only 39 marathoners total, but hey it did feel good to be running in a race! Our group just drove to the start, hopped out of the car, and ran across the starting line in single file. That was it! It was pretty lively during the first half, with a lot of encounters along the path. It was everything from walkers to speedy runners, so it was hard to tell who was doing what distance. The trail itself was very pretty, and the turn around provided the most quintessential Kansas back drop ever!

Remote yes, but beautiful

Not too long after the turn around it got a lot quieter, but I was still enjoying the scenery and the playlist I had put together. I found myself struggling physically though, and continually slowing down, which honestly, was expected. It hasn't been my year. Has it been anybody's year though? What the hell! Mentally, I was so grateful to be running, so I just had to battle the physical stuff. The only one of our group that I was near to at this point was Mike--we were playing tag as he would stop to get rocks out of his shoes and I would stop to dig out stuff from my pockets with my frozen hands. At our last water in a crate stop I told him I didn't think we were going to make 4:30, which inspired him to pick it up and I never passed him again.

It did get hideous near the end. As we entered Ottawa we popped off the trail to run parallel to a busy highway, and then onto a crooked asphalt path with wide cracks patched up with blobs of black tar. My wobbly legs were not happy! We were no longer protected from the cold by the trees either, so it was quite brisk, but luckily we turned off to the finish before too long.

Not snow, just gravel

I had imagined crossing the finish line to be an emotional experience, since it had been so long, but I must say I was not feeling it. I'm still trying to put my finger on it. Maybe it's all the race elements that were missing due to Covid--no packet pickup or expo, no group start, (remembering the standard singing of the Star Spangled Banner and the amped up pre race announcements and music), no spectators at the finish, and no festivities at the finish. Just a table with bananas on it. At least I had my Dallas peeps, including Toby, who took care of us all morning! 

Thank God we had each other!

My time was 4:30:26...not that it matters, right? It's ALL about the experience...hmm...something tells me I'm not a trail runner at heart...

Some training runs are Different than the Others

I don't normally blog about training runs, but it's been a very long time since I've ran a marathon, or any race for that matter, hence no marathon story blogs! This comes as a surprise to no one, as the COVID 19 pandemic has, for the most part, put an end to those. Training plans for the first planned marathon of 2020 went awry as early as March, when my chosen marathon, to be held in May, was cancelled. Since marathons were falling like dominoes at that point it was expected, and on "race day" they had a massive storm hit the area with snow and gale force winds, so I felt like we dodged a bullet anyhow. Training continued for the next feasible marathon in July. It was going to be in Juneau, Alaska, which had the additional promise of happening due to its remoteness. 

Obviously Juneau didn't happen, as plan B, plan C, and plan D didn't happen. We are all now well aware of the fact that NOTHING was going to happen for a long long time. And yes, it's shallow to focus on trying to run a marathon when others are literally fighting for their lives or sources of income or even meals or shelter. The only defense I have is that it gave me something positive to focus on and at times obsess over. Not to mention that running in and of itself was my solace during the madness.

So back to the training run. I really did come here to talk about a run I did in Mackenzie Park in Lubbock a few weeks ago. I drove to Lubbock to visit the "Linder Laws", and decided to take advantage of the lower humidity and run 20 miles. I love running at this park. There's a 7 mile loop that runs through the park to and around Dunbar Lake. There are interesting points of interest along the route, such as an amusement park, a windmill farm and of course a cemetery at the top of a steep hill. My plan was to run the 7 mile loop, pit stop at the car, run a 6 mile loop north of the park, which I haven't really done before, then back out to do the 7 mile loop in the opposite direction.

Toby willingly drove me out to the park and insisted on sticking around while I ran this thing. Normally he'd run too, but on May 13th, while riding his bike, he ran a red light and didn't see the car going 40+ mph that hit him. What could have killed him or left him paralyzed or severely brain damaged left him with a fractured pelvis, broken ribs, and a concussion. A great surgeon put him back together, but his road to recovery has and continues to be a long one. 

Toby flew out beforehand (on crutches by now) to handle family matters while I drove up on Friday. After five hours on the road I was taking the exit to Slaton (where the Linders live) when I saw a text from my cousin saying my sister was in the ICU. I pulled into the Family Dollar parking lot and called him to see what was up. My sister has had her share of visits to the ICU over the years, so at first I wasn't sure it was as bad as it seemed, but after talking to Cliff it didn't sound good.

My sister Donna had her share of demons, the deadliest of which was alcoholism. Fourteen years ago they diagnosed her with end stage liver disease and said if she kept drinking she would die. Fourteen years ago! After some time we began to joke that she'd be smoking a cigarette, and with a drink in her hand be dancing on our graves. She seemed to start losing what little grip she had on self control over the past year, so I started sensing that time was running out for her. Was her time up? I called my parents. They had been with her that morning and called an ambulance. She was very critical and had already been put on a ventilator shortly after being admitted. Her liver was failing. They said it wouldn't do any good to turn around and come back to Ft. Worth because none of us could be in the hospital due to COVID 19. My poor parents were sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring with updates.

That night I put the phone next to my head as I tried to sleep, but didn't really, and got up at 4:00 AM to head to the park. No calls. Maybe she's pulling through like she did before? No news is good news, right? We got to the park around 5:00 AM. As I gathered up my things I handed my phone to Toby in case my parents called. We were discussing what he should do if they would call to say she died while I was out running when the phone rang. It was my dad. Donna had died.

I was numb. My only thought was to start the run and let it flow into my brain piece by piece, the enormity of what just happened. I thought, well I have 20 miles to let this sink in. Blankly, I started running. It was still dark, but it was peaceful, not scary. There were other runners out there and Toby was driving ahead and stopping from time to time, so it was all good. Pieces started flowing in. What about all of her animals? I need to tell her childhood friends on Facebook. What kind of funeral can we possibly have at this time? What was the last thing we said to each other--I can't remember...

Before I knew it I was at the lake. I kept hearing this sound across the water that almost sounded like a baby crying. It was a strange high pitched shrill of a sound. Once I rounded the other side of the lake and made it over the Cemetery Hill I realized what the source of the noise was. In the field sat a rather large fox, just sitting there crying out. I had no idea they made such a sound. A street light was shining on him so there was no mistaking that it was him. I just stopped and stared at him, which startled him. He made some weird garbling sound at me and ran off. I have tons of strange encounters with wildlife in the dark, but this was one of the strangest yet.

The sun was rising as I made it back to the car for a pit stop. My only complaint was that my back was bothering me. It has been bothering me off and on and I've been blaming it on lots of things; not being as mobile because I was no longer working, not going to yoga, not doing my regular stretching routine, sitting in chairs in the ER and hospitals for hours on end, and for three weeks I dealt with passing a rather large kidney stone! I had just driven five hours in the car, so I attributed this morning's back pain to that. I told Toby he had plenty of time to go get coffee as I ran the next 6 miles, and headed north of the park for part 2 of the run.

Almost right away I started having issues with this section. First of all it started out ridiculously hilly, which caused my back to tighten up even more. After a few turns onto the main out and back portion I doubted I was on the right road because it was very dismal and sketchy. I had used the Strava heat map to map this section out, which is a great tool that shows where people run in any given town, so it had to be right. Sure enough I saw a few runners along the road eventually. Still, note to self not to run this section again...I had my music with me this time, but my mind was still too busy thinking about Donna to turn it on. Even though we were only 2-3 years apart in age we had almost nothing in common. We we never close as kids, but we were even further apart as adults, living our lives in completely opposite directions. Before the alcohol there was drug addiction, which she overcame. As long as she was alive there was the hope that she'd overcome the drinking too. And now that hope was gone. She was gone. She was funny as a kid. She would have us in stitches with her impersonations. She liked dumb movies and so did I, so we did share that. The other day I watched "Ready or Not" and almost instinctively went to text her to be sure to watch it. (Seriously, check this movie out. It is crazy dumb but funny as hell). I'm not haunted by what wasn't said or known. We knew we loved each other, but I started to feel the haunted feeling that she was gone completely, definitively. 

As I hit the hills heading back to the car my back was hurting so bad that I had to stop and walk. I tried all sorts of bends and twists to no avail. I even took a 2nd Aleve, which I rarely do. I approached the car with a lot of negativity about the situation. Toby tried to help loosen up my back as I refilled my water bottle for part 3 of the run. I told him I'd blast my music and power through it, just 7 more miles, and walk the hills if I had to. He said he'd drive up to the base of the first hill and wait for me there, and off I went. You're probably wondering why he didn't just tell me I should quit. The same reason why I didn't tell him not to buy a new bike. 

The first mile out was pretty flat, which made it fairly easy to get moving again and fall into some semblance of a rhythm, but it didn't last long. I felt like I was pushing on the pedal of a car with no gas. I had absolutely nothing inside of me to keep moving me forward. Without consciously deciding to do so I started walking. I was done. I saw the car in the parking lot across the street from the hill and crossed over, walking towards the car. Toby saw me coming and pulled out a camping chair from the trunk, where I plopped down and burst into tears.

We drove back to Ft.Worth that day and spent the night with my parents, and have been living in the whirlwind that follows the death of a family member ever since. I saw a doctor about my back, and while explaining to him how I felt this weight on it like someone was sitting on it I realized that my body was doing what it has instinctively done all my life, and that is it was saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Deal with your emotions. For the first time in forever my runs became unstructured and mostly alone. My back is loosening up, but I still find myself walking some, stopping to take in things, like just yesterday I stopped to watch the sun rise over the lake. I don't have any fight in me to do much else right now and that's ok. 

Ironically, our plan F (or is it plan G?) marathon is actually happening in just two weeks and I'm not running the full. I'll run the half while Jamie runs the full. There's still a chance that the race will be cancelled, so I'm trying not to get too excited. Very few marathons have taken place since March, and sadly, very few marathons will take place in the near future. Trying to make sense of 2020 so far has been an act of futility and probably not helping my back pain, so I'm trying hard to accept this current day to day life as is, with its many many limitations and non-stop negativity. Day by day, find the gratitude, no matter how hard, for being here, and for being alive. That's the goal.

My top 10 Most Memorable Runs of 2019

Just a handful of my favorites!

I started the year immersed in injury recovery; deep tissue massage, back adjustments, dry needling, and eventually a cortisone shot in the butt cheek. Training for a March marathon in the middle of all this madness was not the smartest, but I managed to get past my injury eventually. I remained mostly injury free (except for ramming my toe into the bedpost 4 days before the Indianapolis marathon) for the remainder of the year and had a pretty decent year of running events and memorable runs. Here are my top 10 most memorable (not necessarily all good) in chronological order:

1. The HAIL run. Many local runners will never forget this Saturday morning in early March. The lake was packed with runners that morning, completely ignoring the ever increasing dark skies and thunder rumbling. In the middle of a 21 mile run, I was just ahead of the TB pack because they had stopped at Benny's Bench for water, which is typically a ridiculously long pause. First came the rain, then OW, hail started pinging on my head and face, getting larger and more fierce in a hurry. I ducked under a park awning to ride it out, but what's funny is the girls all circled around a large tree and each other until it passed. Talk about memorable!

2. The Skidaway Island marathon outside of Savannah Georgia. I didn't think I was going to make it to this one due to an injury, which makes the memory that much sweeter. I blogged about it here: https://tntlinder.blogspot.com/2019/03/marathon-52-skidaway-island-marathon.html

3. The Mt Charleston Half marathon just outside of Las Vegas. Not that the race itself was memorable (boring), but being at the finish line to watch my friends finish the full marathon certainly was!

4. The Missoula marathon in Montana. It was harder than I thought it would be, and overshadowed by the epic camping trip in Glacier National Park, but still an amazing experience. I blogged about it here: https://tntlinder.blogspot.com/2019/07/marathon-53-missoula-marathon-june-2019.html

5. We were only about 2 miles into the hill run when we encountered a kitten on the side of a somewhat busy road (only not so busy at 5:30 AM). Of all the runners he chose ME and would NOT leave my side, crying and purring and weaving in and out of my feet. That was it for me. I said goodbye to the others and headed back to the car with this guy running by my side. Finally I just scooped him up, held onto him really tight and ran back to my car with him in my arms. We ended up finding him a great home, but it did break my heart to say goodbye to him. I will never forget this little guy!

True love!

6. In August we took a break from the summer heat and spent a week-end in Monterey. We mapped out a 15 mile run along the bay and I said it then and it still holds true that this was hands down my favorite run of the year. To literally go to a near 30 degree drop in temperature on a training run in and of itself is an incredible running boost, but combined with stunning scenery, wow, just wow.  It was exactly what I needed to be able to come back and survive the relentless heat that plagued us throughout the entire month of September. There were many runs during this time frame that I would rather forget; some that ended in walking, some that ended on a treadmill, and one that I almost lied down on a park bench! My memory of how great running felt while in Monterey is what kept me going.

7. Indianapolis Marathon. Of the 3 marathons I ran this year I have to say I enjoyed running this one the most. The 26 degree temperature start made us nervous since obviously we didn't train for that, but it ended up being a non issue. I blogged about it here: https://tntlinder.blogspot.com/2019/11/marathon-54-indianapolis-monumental.html

8. The Thanksgiving day Turkey Trot always makes my list, as it is one of my favorite runs of all! This year was no different, even though it didn't go as planned. I was supposed to start with Laura (LSP), but because of the unexpected large number of runners in the chip timed corral we couldn't find each other, so I started alone. About halfway into the run I looked ahead and saw Lori Green! In the past Lori has pulled me through many many long runs. As life has gotten in the way I have missed running with her, so it was so great to finish the Turkey Trot together!

The only thing missing is LSP!

9. Sometimes I get bored with my regular routes and I tend to just go "wander", not really caring about the pace or miles, as was the case one day early December. I decided to head north on the White Rock Trail, which I used to run along many years ago. It's used mostly by cyclists as a way to head back and forth to the lake. It's kind of beat up in places and tends to get muddy when it rains, so it's not the greatest path, but hey, something different. So I found myself in that area near Walnut Hill that creeps the hell out of all of us local runners, and that's the place where a runner was running along the path on a pretty sunny morning and out of nowhere a lunatic charges him with a machete and hacks him to death right then and there on the path. Yeah that really happened. His wife killed herself 2 weeks later. I remembered that they did some kind of tribute, so I looked around and found this bench. I must say I'm not comfortable being reminded about this event, but I did think the tribute was nice, and I left the area with gratitude for being alive, because you just never know...

Tell me this isn't creepy though

10. Loop the Lake. Of course this run makes my top 10 list! The BEST way to end the year  is to loop the lake with my friends and then enjoy post run libations with the heavy handed bar tender who seems to remember me from last year because when making my mimosas he remembers that I don't like orange juice that much...

As always with the Festivus Pole to air those 2019 grievances!

So 2019, another lap around the sun has been completed. I'm grateful for every single run, memorable, forgettable, painful, sluggish, funny (singing Cher's "Half Breed" comes to mind),  those where mother nature dishes out her fury, and those where mother nature takes my breath away with her beauty. The 2020 lap has begun! Get out there and make some memories!